An exploration on grief & loss • Supported by The Arts Council Covid Fund

Grief is a small word to encompass a complex set of emotions. The unravelling map of feelings is never the same for any one person. The circumstances of death, and the relationship to the person who died vary, influencing individual journeys through the landscape of grief. The topography is determined by so many different factors that even a small roomful of people grieving for the same person, will have wholly different experiences.

Irish funeral traditions form an important part of the grieving process and allow us to make sense of the person as a whole. Stories are shared, and perspectives and facets are heard of the loved one’s personality that were previously unknown to us. Our children hear stories for their first time that are long familiar to us. These shared stories form the narrative of a person’s lifetime. Respect for the dead dictates that the public version of this narrative is sanitised, the rest we hold back for private review.

Part of the human condition is to have failings, and part of the grieving process is to accept this. Celebrate the good and put away the bad. Charismatic / cruel, mischievous / quick-tempered, generous / spoilt. Compartmentalisation is a process of putting the negative feelings toward someone, or some event, in a metaphorical box and storing it away – but always knowing it is there somewhere in the background. In mourning we compartmentalise the person we have lost. Separating memories and the emotions associated with them into smaller sections or categories makes them more manageable. Complex relationships are separated and simplified. The narrative becomes about the good in a person and the less palatable aspects of their human failings are put away. This body of work in response to the death of a loved one acknowledges this complexity, celebrating the person while knowing that they cannot be reduced to one single story.

This installation in the Blackchurch Studio’s Curiosity Cabinet represents the first part of an exploration on grief and loss by artist Monika Crowley, supported by the Arts Council of Ireland Covid Fund. An artifact with one thread of the narrative of the departed’s life is displayed, in the other boxes are the stories we only mention in private.

The dichotomized artworks embody the love of a tight family unit for the person leaving, who is represented here by the scene from his sickbed window. In the days he lay dying, viewing the murmurations of starlings beyond his bedside window gave respite to the family – watching the cloud of little birds swoop and soar, distracting from the barely discernible rise and fall of the body in the bed. A lifetime ago he used to watch the birds from the downstairs bathroom, but with mal-intent towards the little creatures. The printed artifact is the mirror that hung in that bathroom and reflected. The little boxed birds we don’t talk about.